The Zen-like waiting room of the Comprehensive Cosmetic Medical Clinic is packed with housewives, attorneys, and yoga gurus, all in pursuit of a common goal: hairlessness. This laser removal facility's latest fave is the "heart-shaped box." (11340 West Olympic Boulevard, at Corinth Avenue, no. 357, 310-268-2288)

Brent Moelleken's specialty is superb cheek-lifts. He's Dr. Brent to those in the know, plastic surgeon to the stars by rep. (120 South Spalding Drive, Suite 340, 310-273-1001, drbrent.com)

Who to thank for the ballooning collagen trend? Arnold Klein has puffed the puckers of countless celebs. He's also a director of the Hereditary Disease Foundation and is rumored to be Michael Jackson's dermatologist. We leave it to you to decide whether that's a good thing. (435 North Roxbury Drive, suite 204, 310-275-5136, doctorklein.md)

The Kate Hudsons and Debra Messings of the world have done a great deal for flat-chested women, but plenty of us still want some cleavage. For a natural-looking job, Steven Teitelbaum's your man. Also known as the lipo master of the Westside. (1301 20th Street, suite 350, 310-315-1121, drteitelbaum.com)

If you really want to know Stuart H. Kaplan's client list, check out the Special Thanks section on any number of popular CDs. Because he sure won't tell you. Suffice it to say his office is like Grand Central the week before any awards show, and he's been interviewed by more than 50 publications and -- gasp! -- he doesn't even have a publicist. (435 North Roxbury Drive, suite 210, 310-858-7880, skindoc.com)

Despite being one of Hollywood's worst-kept secrets, Harold A. Lancer remains tight-lipped about his celebrity clientele (Cher and Nia Vardalos are the only ones he'll divulge). Lancer's known for his skin polishing and plumping -- specifically the Lancer Glow, a treatment that buffs, hydrates, and plumps the face, neck, and chest to perfection. (The Penthouse, 9735 Wilshire Boulevard, 310-278-8444)

Randal Haworth's renowned treatment, Fatma, reverses the whole a-minute-on-the-lips-a-lifetime-on-the-hips concept. By taking fat directly from the hips and implanting it in the lips, he reshapes and plumps in an all-natural (that word again!) way. Breast augmentation is also popular here -- but those, we're afraid, will definitely be fake. Haworth is affiliated with the Beverly Hills Surgical Center. (436 North Bedford Drive, suite 105, 310-273-3000, drhaworth.com)

You? Smile? Laurence Rifkin is responsible for the pearlies of George Clooney, Ann Margaret, Magic Johnson, and many of the L.A. Lakers (he was the team dentist from 1984 to 1987). (414 North Camden Drive, suite 1280, 310-273-0200, drlaurencerifkin.com)

Unhappy with that eye job you got from Dr. Schmo? Dr. Stanley Frileck, plastic surgeon to stars, heads of state, and royalty, is the man you want to repair a botched job -- or for just a first-time face-lift. His philosophy is all about preserving the natural character and individuality of a face, so you won't end up with a ski-slope nose. (11980 San Vicente Boulevard, suite 110, 310-820-1491)

Varicose veins are a double-whammy: They're hideous and painful. Robert Hashemiyoon, the premier varicose- and spider-vein remover, zaps them permanently. Like airbrushing, but so much more permanent. (American Vein & Laser Center, 9001 Wilshire Boulevard, suite 100, 310-271-5875, beverlyhills-surgery.com)

So get those fingers walking. With a list like this, you have no excuse to be ugly.